A Sweet Moment & A Whisper

Before I captured this sweet moment, there were a few tears shed by both Elijah and me.  This morning as I was reading my devotional by John Piper, I came across James 4:14 
"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."
This verse has been on my mind since my mom died; her death has brought new depth and meaning to this verse.  When I think about the fact that one day my mom was next to my hospital bed as I gave birth to Elijah, and not many days later I was by her bedside as she breathed her last breath, I can't help but echo James' words - life is a vapor! I simply cried as I read these words because my mom's death still feels surreal, and I can't believe that she's gone just like that - like a mist.  And then my devotional took me to another passage, this time to Matthew 6:25-34 the passage that summons us not to worry about tomorrow.  This passage spoke to me in another area of my life, which will need its own blogpost.  For now I can say that Matthew 6 also reminded me that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and we should not spend today worrying about what is uncertain.  As I journaled my thoughts, I noticed how the planner in me has been forced to take the back seat during this past year; I have had to live one day at a time focusing on the present.  I know that I am here today, but I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  And to be completely vulnerable some days I don't want more tomorrows; I long to go home, to die is truly gain!  But Philippians 1:21 also says that "to live is Christ," and if God has allowed me to see another day is because I am to live for Christ.  As much as I want to go home to be with Jesus and to see my mom again, God still has me here for His purposes and plans.  He has given me life today so that I can live for Him, so how am I to live for Christ?

All while I read, wrote and prayed, Elijah was grunting and whining; he was not happy anywhere. I moved him to the swing, to the couch, to his activity center, I gave him food, I put him down for a nap, but he cried nonetheless, so I finally picked him up.  As I held him in my arms, I sang Amazing Grace and 10,000 Reasons. Elijah's eyes locked into mine, he held my finger and quieted down.  In that moment my soul quieted down, and I heard God gently whisper one of His purposes for me:

"Beloved you are to live for Christ by teaching Elijah to love and obey me, by praying for him daily, by training him up in the way that he should go, by helping him grow to be a man after my own heart, and by instilling the fear of The Lord in his little heart like your mom did for you when you were a little girl."
Of course God's answer brought tears to my eyes, and it became a little harder to sing, but I kept singing and my precious little sonshine fell asleep.  Now normally I don't let Elijah fall asleep on me, but as I sat there thanking God for His beautiful words, I decided to savor the moment, and I took in every second of such sweetness.  

For as long as I am here on this earth my desire is to live for Christ's sake - to imitate Him, to love like He does, to be His hands and feet, and to shine His light to those around me, in particular to my son Elijah.  And when my time has come, what joy shall fill my heart!   

Philippians 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." 

Precious Gift

We wanted to share with you the precious gift God has blessed us with :)

Wedding Weekend

A few weeks ago we had the joy of visiting Minneapolis to attend and record a friend's wedding. Erin came to our wedding three years ago, and we did not want to miss out on her big day! Though the drive was a little long, we enjoyed our time walking around the city, trying new restaurants, and doing a little shopping.  On our last day we were able to worship at Bethlehem Baptist church, that was a treat! I still remember a quote the preacher shared, "the space between expectations and reality equals disappointment." The further our expectations are from reality, the bigger the disappointment we experience.  Every time I catch myself setting high, unrealistic expectations, I remember this quote.

Here are some pictures of our trip:

At the Old Spaghetti Factory

At Erin & Joel's Wedding <3

Reliving our I-Do's

 Cute favor!

Elephants are my favorite animal, so I couldn't resist..

Mommy, Am I Beautiful?

In my last post I shared some of my thoughts on beauty, and now I wanted to share some resources with you all.  Since this topic has been on my heart lately, I've been doing some research on it, and the links below offered some great insight on talking to children about beauty. I really liked what these ladies had to say on the topic, and I find their insight to be beneficial even for youth ministry.
Enjoy!  

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/teaching-our-kids-about-beauty

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/showing-beauty-to-our-children

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/talking-to-our-children-about-beauty

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/talking-to-our-children-about-beauty-pt.-2

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the articles:

"Sadly, our children will absorb our self-absorption; they will vainly follow our vanity. If we are consumed with what others think about how we look, our daughters will learn that self-focus is the way to fulfillment. If we spend exorbitant time and money on our appearance, we are teaching our sons to prize physical beauty above all.

But if we faithfully seek to adorn ourselves with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, we will be a beautiful example to our children. If we spend our days gazing at the beauty of God, beholding him in his temple (Ps. 27:4), we will show our daughters how to find true joy and satisfaction. If we devote our lives to serving others (1 Tim. 2:9-10), we will encourage our sons to love and respect people and to look for a wife who fears the Lord (Prov. 31:30)."

"We need to tell our children of the beauty of God. Let’s talk to them in simple terms about the beauty of God’s character. Even a small child can begin to learn about the beauty of God’s sovereignty over the planets and the seasons and the seas, the beauty of his wisdom in directing our lives, and the beauty of his goodness in the daily blessings we receive."

"Even more important than telling our daughters how beautiful we think they are is telling them how beautiful God is."

"Finally, there are words that are better left unsaid. Drawing our children into negative dialogue about our appearance, “Do you think Mommy looks fat in this dress?” “Mommy wishes she was young and pretty like you,” etc., will only give ungodly shape to their developing beliefs about beauty."

Unfading Beauty

www.elisamalinverni.com

Lately I have been very interested in the topic of beauty, and I have been pondering the following questions:

How should a godly woman regard beauty? How much time and attention should a godly woman devote to physical appearance (exercise, diet, hair & makeup)? How do we overcome being vain? Is it bad to desire to be attractive? How do we balance taking care of our bodies vs. being different from the world? How do we stop complaining about our bodies and embrace an attitude of gratitude towards our Maker's creativity?

Above all, I want to be godly woman who loves the Lord wholeheartedly, who exemplifies a gentle and quiet spirit, and who models true beauty to younger women.  But as a woman, I have oftentimes struggled with my physical appearance - not liking a certain part of my body, worrying about the hair accumulated in the drain, thinking too much about outfits, and even obsessing about food and diet.  It is so easy to go to the gym and tell myself, "you're doing this to be healthy" when in reality I'm working out because I want to be thinner.  I am thankful that time and time again God is faithful in refocusing my thoughts on Him and in reminding me of His love for me.  He is so patient and ever so gracious with my forgetfulness.  And though I am prone to wander, thanks be to God that His Word is living, active, full of wisdom, and always there to point me in the right direction.

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7, ESV).

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30, NIV).

^"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" (1 Tim. 4:8, NIV).

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight" (1 Pet. 3:3-4, NIV).

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt. 6:19-21, ESV). 

I'm also refocused by reading about my beautiful Savior.

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces  he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions,  he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Isa. 53:2-5, NIV)

This passage always gets to me! It's funny, but when I think about Jesus, I often think of a beautiful person, and I am very attracted to Him.  I desire to be with Him and to be like Him; I long for that day when I will meet Him face to face :) He is beautiful to me - His loving heart, His healing touch, His serving hands, His care and compassion for others, His humility, His obedience to the Father, His patience, His boldness in proclaiming the Truth, His desire and willingness to reconcile us to the Father - all these characteristics (none of which are external) make Him so attractive to me.  How crazy is it that this man who I've never seen holds my heart and affection!
Though I don't have all the answers to my previous questions, as I reflect on Jesus' beauty, I conclude that this is the kind of beauty that truly matters, and it's the kind of beauty that I would like to exemplify.  I want others to be attracted to Christ's reflection in me - to desire to be around me because something in me reminds them of Christ. I want my beauty to lead others to Christ and as a result bring glory and honor to His name. This is my prayer today:

Heavenly Father, You are such a great God! You are abounding in grace, full of compassion and mercy, slow to anger and rich in love.  Thank you for Your Son Jesus. Thank You for reminding me today what true beauty looks like, and thank You for being patient with me.  Forgive me for placing too much focus on outward appearances and neglecting the unfading beauty of the heart.  Help me today and tomorrow to reflect the beauty of Your Son in everything I say and do.  In Jesus's name, Amen.        

Lovely Visit

Almost 3 weeks ago Corey, Erin and Naomi came to visit us, and they brought along friends for us to meet: Chuck and Judy.  We had such a great time talking about God, laughing, staying up late, walking around town, playing games, eating tons of food, and just enjoying a sweet time of fellowship.  

First day: 

We hung out at our apartment, took a tour around campus, ate dinner at Giordano's, and went back to the hotel for some games and late night talks :) 

Checking out the chapel on campus

Second Day: worshipped at our church Crosslife, ate lunch at Kona Grill, walked around downtown for hours, and ate a late, yummy dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. 

I just love this sweet girl <3

A beautiful day in downtown

We weren't the only ones taking advantage of the nice day, look at this crowd, Yikes!

Visiting Moody

After so much walking, we decided to give our feet a little rest. 

The final leg of the trip

Third day: the guys went out to play disc golf while I took the ladies shopping.  And though there are tons of nice, expensive malls and boutiques in Chicago, we went to GoodWill for our shopping =) A couple of years ago, this would have been the last place I would have ever imagined taking my sister-in-law Erin to go shopping.  But in His amazing grace, God transforms the lives of those who seek Him and find their identity in Him.  He changes our priorities, our desires for attention, our worldly pleasures, our concerns for image, and even our spending habits.  He replaces vanity with humility, gratitude and good stewardship; my sister Erin is a great witness of this transformation.  I am blessed and encouraged by the work God is doing in her life, which you can read more about in her blog: http://erins.blog.com/       

It was such a great visit and we miss them already!    

Saying Goodbye to Facebook (part 1)

Some posts ago, I had mentioned that God had been exposing sin in my life and bringing me to a place of brokenness, healing, and growth.  I had wanted to blog about my giving up of Facebook for a while now, but I always found something else to occupy my time with, and quite frankly I feared the judgement/opinions of others.  But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like my struggle with Facebook was not uncommon to men.  I think that there are actually lots of people out there who have lived on Facebook for the wrong reasons, or who have let their usage get out of hand, and who might actually benefit from taking a break.  When wrongly used, Facebook can play a huge role in the following: discontentment, waste of time, gossip, comparison, jealousy, bragging, pride, disappointment, hurt, busyness, and most importantly the replacement of your time with God.        

So today I hope to be a little vulnerable and share another instance of brokenness I experienced not too long ago.

Earlier during February, my friend Laura and I had decided to be disciplined with our use of Facebook by limiting ourselves to only 5 minutes a day, and holding each other accountable.  We had both thought that it would be smart to set boundaries while not giving it up completely.  However, thoughts of "maybe I should just completely fast from Facebook" would come to my mind occasionally.  I had previously fasted from Facebook for 6 weeks during a class project, and I knew that it was not that easy to give up.  So I didn't want to give it up just yet for many reasons, one being my mom's upcoming birthday (Feb 27th).  I had wanted to post a photo of both of us, wishing her a happy birthday and writing her a cute message.  But God had other plans, and was at work in different ways.  On the Saturday prior to my mother's birthday I stumbled upon a blog called "A Mom Without A Facebook." The author Heather had embarked on a journey of leaving Facebook for a whole year.  I read her story and felt inspired, but I still didn't feel like I could give up Facebook completely, I wasn't ready.  The thought definitely passed through my mind, but there was too much that I didn't want to give up.  The next day (during my 5 minutes) I saw a post from a friend where she wished her mother a happy birthday, wrote a sweet message, and uploaded a picture of them (exactly what I had thought of doing for my mom).  My first thought was, "darn, it's going to look like I'm copying her, maybe I'll save my b-day post for next year." That's when it started hitting me - I needed to fast from Facebook, my motives weren't right! The next morning at work (Feb 25) I kept thinking about it, and hearing the words, "beloved, give it up"in my head; the Lord began to expose a sin in my life which was holding me captive.  I had thought earlier, "you know what, I shouldn't care if people think I'm copying my friend, I'm just going to post it regardless." Then in that moment, the Lord revealed my motive: I wasn't making that post about honoring my mother, I was excited to receive comments and likes for making such a sweet post.  It was all about me! My image, my popularity, my desire to be liked and recognized, and feeling special.  You see, I had been finding my identity in numbers and superficial relationships.  Who cared about how many friends I had on Facebook when I felt so alone, who cared about comments & likes, and how much other people were liked on Facebook; that's not where I should find my identity.             

All this had been on my heart all day at work, I felt the urge to run away into God's presence; I wanted to weep in His arms and confess, and weep some more.  So I did! I went home, made dinner, washed the dishes, and then I went to my bedroom, locked the door, turned the lights off, and just bowed before my Heavenly Father.  I wept over my sins, I confessed, I cried out to God in complete brokenness. I felt so unworthy, so selfish as more sins in my life were exposed.  I realized that I had been trying to increase while leaving God behind, I had been so far away from decreasing so that He might increase.  I had been trying to glorify myself and be of importance in other's eyes.  So in complete abandonment I fell before the Lord, begged for forgiveness and asked for strength.  After praying, I grabbed a blanket and cuddled up by the bed on the floor while I listened to worship songs.  "None but Jesus" came in perfect timing, I wept some more as I sang those words of surrender to God.  Another song that  truly spoke to me was "Embracing Accusations," about the devil singing the same old song over me.  I realized that I was feeling broken, defeated, unworthy, and that the devil was singing over me.  But just like that was true, the next few words came in power, "he's forgotten the refrain, Jesus saves!" In that moment I wept for joy, I was laughing and thanking God at the same time.  My feelings of defeat and worthlessness disappeared with those words: Jesus saves! He is victorious over my sin, Hallelujah! I am a new creation- loved by my savior, saved by grace.  For as we repent, I don't think that it is God's desire for us to linger in our guilt, but rather He wants us to repent and find freedom through His grace. 

What a wonderful night I shall never forget, I was full, my cup overflowed.  My Father is good, oh how I love Him!         

Part 2 coming soon...